depressed.... i just have to blame myself for it. running away from problems and i couldnt solve it now. friends have tried their best to bring me bac kto college but i couldnt stand pressure. they told me tht if i couldnt stand the pressure how could i continue on in future. Working life would be even worse. I know ...I'm actually afraid of every step tht i make now. I wish i dont exist in anyones life. I wish i wouldnt have made a decision to study further and watse my parents money.
I wish i wouldnt have think so much abt certain things that make me fail you badly... i wish that I would not stress myself so much in everyhing. I really wish that i still have friends. i never listen to what they say... i didnt want to listen to anyone. I wanted my own way. Who is to blame....me, myself and I. Why am i so selfish...why am i such a scaridy cat. I'm just confuse abt myself. No one with me. .. of course...who is to be blame again...? me.
I never learn a lesson...until is alrd too late...everything is in the drain i can never go back to college again. Me being a writer, me being a graduate and me being a advertiser is no longer there. Serve me right, i'm failure that dont deserve anything. I've wasted my parents hard earned money. I need to do something back for them.
I'm not a good testimony in life any longer. Is another part of life that i have to go through on my own. I must learn to be a responsible person. I'm not responsible enough...everything is too late to look behind. I use too much of my feelings and it over power me all the time. usless me.
erm just want to let my friends that have been supportive to me in college during my stay...i wish them all the best in life. I truely enjoy their existence. They are those that have calm me most of the time. Stay by myside when i need a shoulder to cry on. and a share problems and etc etc. I'll miss a college life. but again...it was me who did this to myself...nobody wants this to happen...i've chose this path...i cant turn back. " nasi sudah jadi bubur."
thetruehutien
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